“Well, yes, ma’am, I do… I mean, I got everything I need right here with me. I got air in my lungs, a few blank sheets of paper. I mean, I love waking up in the morning not knowing what’s gonna happen or, who I’m gonna meet, where I’m gonna wind up. Just the other night I was sleeping under a bridge and now here I am on the grandest ship in the world having champagne with you fine people. I figure life’s a gift and I don’t intend on wasting it. You don’t know what hand you’re gonna get dealt next. You learn to take life as it comes at you… to make each day count.” ~ Jack Dawson

I was born in the wrong century. This time and world does not suit who I am, and who I want to be. The past dwells defiantly. This, a diary, a journal, a best friend, a victim, an extinction. Through the evident the past prospers. Enjoy.

This is more or less a page explaining who I am in my eyes and what not. I am doing this more for myself than anything since It’s hard for me to mentally picture who I am in other people’s eyes. It’s hard for me to break down the decisions I make and project them into a person who is me, which is why I would like to make this then simply read over it to sum up the missing pieces.

…

My name is Tanner. I am 15, in High School.

I have no sense of direction of where I would like to go or what I would like to do with my life in the future. I have vivid fantasies of traveling a lot, loose on a job. Settling in a small close-knit town somewhere. Dreams of living in the city “living it up”. And just blank darkness. Overall my point is there is no true set path that I have declared so far, I have mixed opinions about people and places, so I suppose when the time comes I’ll understand this all more.

My overall interests fall into history, architecture, culture, stories, mysteries, lies, truth, fantasies, cosmos, love, fashion, intelligence, music, art, film, cinema, philosophy, the mind, time; my mind wanders endlessly.

I love the summer with a breeze. The winter with a glimmer of warmth. A fall with rain. A spring with the fresh smell of life. A little bit of everything.

I enjoy being alone. When I am with people it seems I would just rather sit back and observe them instead of conversing. Anti-social? No. I enjoy good company as anyone else, but preference myself as the good company. I realized this has all occurred simply because I have grown to accompany nothing and nobody. Being on your own long enough; you end up getting used to it.

I am straight, my interests lies in girls. But, past events have made me to believe to stop trying. Like most, lost and heartbroken is the most common situation. I’ve learned to just let whatever happen, happen essentially. Then more or less when the time is right something good will happen, not force or rushed, simply on time, anytime.

I enjoy the pristine, elegant, glorious, quiet, sophisticated things. Subjects that can spark imagination on free will. Dark places of the mind where most dwell, and the lightest places of our existence.

I have dreams of being a writer, filmmaker, cinematographer, an actor, a musician, a lawyer, a free man, a significant other, a father.

So far life has been exceptional. Perhaps the only life altering mishap would have been my mom being diagnosed with a heart condition, which is now better. May I add I do feel completely blessed to have such a great family, friends, present life and future. Even though I am atheist.

I involve myself with people that have depth, stories, imagination, ambitions.. will. So If you can’t really get along with me or we don’t hit it off, its probably because I think you’re lacking the sorts.